The Day Before You Were Born

March 27, 2013

Dear Baby #5,

We were in Boston, Massachusetts July 28, 2012 when we found out you were coming to our home.  We were very excited and relieved to be pregnant again, after a heartbreaking miscarriage a few months prior.  It was a great loss for both of us.  But both Daddy and I knew someone was waiting to come into our family; a number of times we had felt your presence and actually counted our kids at the dinner table to make sure we had everyone.  We didn't, because we didn't have you!  I couldn't ignore that feeling, because that was exactly how I was brought into this world, 7 years after my next oldest sibling.

It's been an interesting ride these last 9 months.  I'm older than I've ever been....maybe that's why every time I'd throw up with morning sickness I'd also wet my pants.  Daddy would come in to check on me and shake his head sadly and say, "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry!"  I would just laugh!  I don't think anyone in our home will miss the great toilet-plugging adventures I've had as a pregnancy side effect either... Please note, baby, that you are coming into a home filled with love and lots of humor! I'm grateful I can just laugh about experiences like that - and even share them on my long-forgotten blog.    Painful waddling will not be missed, neither will the "really fat feet and ankles" that have become a part of my life the last 6 weeks or so.   I will not miss sitting with my legs far apart because they simply can't fit together with this massive belly in the way, nor will I miss the consumption of, at minimum, 10 Tums per day.

I will miss, however, your older siblings gently rubbing those fat feet of mine or lifting my legs up onto the ottoman because they'd become too heavy for me to lift by myself.  I will miss feeling your frequent hiccups, along with your ability to rock the TV remote while it was resting on my belly.  I will miss your siblings talking or singing to you in my tummy, especially Cecelia saying, "Baby, I hope you're a girl!  But if you're a boy, I will still love you!"  Mendon has also loved singing to you, but I'm sure he will still serenade you in person!  You have very creative brothers and a sister who will teach you the ropes of living with the J family.  I will miss the "Expectant Mother" parking spot at Harmon's Grocery Store - they know how to treat a mommy right!  I will miss little moments when Lincoln has his hand on my tummy and gasps as he feels you move.  I will miss the song I'd sing when you got frisky in my belly (sung to "There's a hole in the bucket")  - "There's a head in my tummy, dear kiddos, dear kiddos..."

My little one, all that aside, tomorrow I will hold you in my arms.  Straight from heaven.  I never feel the Spirit as strong as when you little ones arrive.  I'm so excited to find out who you are - boy or girl!  If you are a boy, you will have great brothers to teach you the ropes of wrestling, playing swords and Legos, and a wonderful father to teach you how to be an amazing missionary.  I may be biased, but Daddy and I create some really handsome boys too!  If you are a girl, you will be doted upon by everyone in this family, even your oldest brother, who really wants you to have straight hair - if you do end up being a girl!  I'm so excited to welcome you into our eternal family, just the way our Heavenly Father wants us to be.

Little one, have a safe journey tomorrow. Thank you for teaching me extra patience, and thank you in advance for being a good eater and a good sleeper!  Please know that I love you forever and ever.   I will see you soon and be the best I can be for you. 

Love Always,
Mommy