Thursday, January 26, 2012

Super Spy!

Though this is just phase 1 in a life-long journey (or at least 18 more years or so...), I gotta say - woohoo! So glad I checked out the itinerary and packed the right gear!

The last 2 days I've been playing super spy. I should find someone to make me a cape or something. Anyone? Anyone? (confession time - I don't sew.) But anyway....I've been spying on my kids. And it has been FUN! Right now I spy Little L dig (yes, literally dig) in our toy room for treasures. He is so immersed; talking to himself, making faces, creating the occasional sound effect of a machine gun, street sweeper, whatever he finds. Last night I spied Little M pull out all the books from his bookshelf and read to himself. This little boy, as you already know, is an animal lover. He will spend at least half an hour looking at his animal books and making all the corresponding sounds. We have yet to figure out what a camel says, so if you know, please let me know!

After school yesterday I spied Big Girl get Little M out of his crib after nap time. I didn't know they had such a system down, but she even requested his help to pull the side of the crib back up when he was free. Yes, I still have a drop-side crib. I don't plan to change that anytime soon.

Late last night, I spied my 8 year old sad. He seems to carry such weight on his little shoulders sometimes; it truly breaks my heart. His class at school is, shall we say, interesting? Yep, that'll do. Not the nicest or most-respectful group; even mother struggled when she threw an awesome Halloween party in that room. I seriously doubted whether or not to return for another party, but when you're one of two moms who comes to help............. He complains often he doesn't have a lot of friends and kids are mean to him. This coming from the boy who, at age 2, had all the kids on the playground organized and ready to play pirates! Also the boy who announced, probably the same day, that he had a girlfriend that he met at the park. Hmmm.....I had a few boyfriends from parks too. Genetic? :) We had a good heart to heart. So grateful am I that I will take the time to listen.

I have spied, too, a change in my family. I can't take full credit, but mothers make a home! It's not even Mother's Day, but I wanted to give you moms a huge SHOUT OUT for being moms!! My favorite quote on mothers comes from David O. McKay, former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

"The noblest calling in
the world is that of mother. True motherhood is the
most beautiful of all
arts, the greatest of all professions. She who can paint a
masterpiece or who can write a book that will influence millions deserves the plaudits and
admiration of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of
healthy, beautiful sons and daughters whose immortal souls will be exerting an influence throughout the ages long after painting shall have faded, and
books and statues shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give."

Moms, you are INCREDIBLE!!! (and go spy on your kids, would ya?)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I'm a MAN! I just can't do it!

This new mother kicked some major booty yesterday! Day one was a smashing success!!!!! I was busy folding laundry and cleaning up the living room after the kids were all asleep, and my husband looked at me in wonder and awe (ok, maybe not so much, but a little hyperbole never hurt anyone!) and said this: "I'm a MAN! I just can't do it!" (Meaning, he could not bend down to pick up one toy or book and HAD to hit the sack.)
I do have to give my man a little credit, however, for he puts up with 29 5th graders each day, and I think by the end of the day his exhaustion is just as real as mine. I don't tell him that, it might go to his head, but he really does so much for me and for our family. I'm so lucky to have him!
Anyway, back to day ONE. As I mentioned, it was great! The bigs got home from school, where the mother finally had a snack ready. They ate. They were happy. The bigs played with the littles. Daddy cooked my prepped dinner while I gave another piano lesson, we ate (well, most of us ate), then Family Night with my confession of failing as a mother and vowing to do better. I encouraged all the family to be their best selves, and for about 2 minutes, the actually listened! My best self is not being like Sarah or Suzie; it's being ME! I find myself so often looking at other mommy blogs and seeing perfect houses with perfect decor, tons of homemade crafts and scrapbooks, little projects for the kids, a constantly organized pantry, a clean toy room, etc., etc., and it gets me down. I cannot be them, for I am not. Neither are YOU, dear reader! So my advice today, is to be the best YOU. It really really works! My good friend has a quote on her blog that I LOVE. Here it is!
"You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you!"
Isn't that so simply wonderful?!
After our little Family Night lesson, we watched Old Yeller, which we had just finished reading as a family and had the aforementioned scones for dessert.
We stopped the movie with 10 minutes remaining, the kids brushed their teeth and did their business in a record amount of time, finished the movie, said our prayers and went to bed. Seriously? An AWESOME day! (If you haven't read Old Yeller to your kids, do it!)
This morning, the bigs were ready to leave for school at 8 a.m. with daddy (they go to the school where he teaches), and I'm happy, no, ECSTATIC to report that they still loved their mother when they left for school!
Did I do anything "big" to deserve this change? No! I just changed a few little things, it didn't cost me a penny or much time, but it worked! Now Little L is upstairs quietly playing on a road I created on the kitchen floor out of painter's tape (I saw the idea here http://buggieandjellybean.blogspot.com/2011/10/thinking-outside-kitchen-floor.html, but mine is much more simple, and so is my kitchen!) and Little M is playing quietly in the toy room. Sure, I let them watch too much TV this morning, but I got the rare shower out of it, and an extra 20 minutes of TV really isn't going to hurt so much in the long run, especially with a mother in the house!
***DISCLAIMER***
I fully realize these 2 days were not perfect, but they were BETTER! And I know it may all fall apart at any second, but for now, it's working and I'm happy to share that with you!

Monday, January 23, 2012

The journey begins...

I've debated with three people about doing a more frequent blog than my family blog, which I updated almost two years ago. All three of my co-debaters seem to agree that I might have something good to say about being a SAHM (stay-at-home mom, for those of you, who like me, are in the dark as to modern acronyms), with a bit of humor, sarcasm and downright honesty. So, with those three (me, myself and I! hehe!), I begin a journey fo find more joy in my parenting journey and hope you will enjoy the trip with us/me!
As I sent my two oldest kids to school today, both scowling and furious at their mother, I realized something needed to change. No amount of prodding is going to make them hurry faster on a Monday morning. No amount of yelling (believe me, I've tried!) is going to make my little girl like the way I do her hair today, even though she loved it just yesterday.
The change, my friends, has got to be with me. Sure, I've tried to shake things up, switch around the routine, chore charts, stickers, etc., etc., but something ain't working, and I honestly think the something is me! Takes someone ready for a change to admit that, eh?! After the "big" kids (8 & 6) were safely at school and peace again reigned in the minivan, I tried something with my two "little" kids (almost 4 & almost 2) still at home. Today I acted like a mother instead of a crazed woman who hardly has any hair left because she's pulled it all out in a violent act of frustration towards her children. And you know what? It's worked!
Day 1 with the little ones has been a GOOD day! After giving a morning piano lesson, we took a trip to the local animal shelter - not to find a pet, NO THANK YOU! - but to find out how to complain about my new neighbor's dog who chose to bark all night long (really, ALL NIGHT!), and to visit a good while with the cats behind the glass wall. Do the boys love cats? Yep! Did they think I was pretty awesome for letting them look at them for so long? Yep! Was it easy for me? Yes! I finally cajoled my 2 year old out, M, of the shelter by promising that we'd go look at some horses.
Upon our journey home and as the garage door was opening, that same 2 year old started freaking out, throwing toys and doing his now-famous horse sound - aka raspberry blowing with his lips. Of course he was upset with me; I'd promised him horses and lied. It would have been really easy (well, kind of easy) to just deal with his screaming and tell him we'd see them another time. But no, today I was being a mother. So we went to see some horses.
My nephew is dating a girl who lives quite close to us, and her family has horses. I've met the girl only once (cute girl, btw!), and she said we could come anytime to visit her horses. I got brave. I pulled up to her house, full well knowing she was at school, and rang the doorbell. Complete strangers at the door, but her mom welcomed me and my two darling boys back to see the horses. Little M was in heaven. He had no desire whatsoever to pet the gargantuan creatures, but his eyes lit up as he watched the horses eat apples out of my new friend's hand. My big boy, L, was overjoyed as well and reluctant, but ok, to leave. Somehow we left with an invitation to come back anytime we needed to see horses, and most importantly, without any screaming or fit throwing. I had kept my promise, and I think I might have been a hero, if only just for a minute!
Lunch, the ever healthy dinosaur chicken nuggets and frozen peas. For some reason, frozen peas are a hit at my house! I fought it for quite some time, but as that mother today, I figured, what the heck! Frozen or cooked, they're PEAS and they still count as a veggie! And you know what? M & L ate EVERY ONE. Another success! Lesson noted: it does not always have to be MY way.
My attempt at homemade bread today left it flat and unyielding; so we're having for dinner what everyone should do with less-than-appealing bread dough - we're making scones! I've never made scones for my kids. Why don't I make horrible dough more often?! Then airplanes on mom's legs - the most excercise I've had for months - then nap and quiet playtime.
So far, a really awesome day. The before-school morning left much to be desired, but that desire turned into a real desire to make a change - by definition, the act or instance of making or becoming different. I feel confident enough from a good day with the littles that the bigs may just have something different upon their arrival home from school - a mother! Wish me luck!